Too Many Cooks
I was reading this post when I saw it mention that Ango Sakaguchi’s Non-Serial Murders was an anti-mystery. Given that I’m all about that, my interest was piqued.
Last year, I’d come across an English translation of the book on Amazon that was, unfortunately, quite poor. However, I recently discovered that there was, in fact, another, much better translation available – with the title The Coincidental Murders.
I’m mostly writing this blog post as a note for any weary travelers who intend to go on the same journey as I have.
Firstly, know that this is not, in fact, an anti-mystery (even though it could be argued it’s somewhat anti-reader).
Secondly, know that the way the cast of characters is listed in the first pages is deceiving. Your eyes would lead you to believe that the number of characters corresponds to the number of points on the list. Not so – you must also take into account the character descriptions, as they list other, additional characters, such as their spouses or siblings. Perhaps more frustratingly, another thing the list does not communicate are all the relationships between the characters.
Please. Allow me to fix both of these errors, with the handy chart I’ve prepared below.
…I probably could’ve saved myself some trouble if I’d actually had made this diagram for myself while reading.
Yes, indeed, the Non-Serial Murder Case is notorious for its absurdly large cast of characters. All gathered in one place – the home of the wealthy young man, Kazuma, who invites his artistic friends (and their spouses) after feeling the atmosphere in the house has gotten slightly unbearable. In part because his sister, Tamao, has invited three writers who completely despise each other and compete for her affection (the worst of them no doubt being Wani Mochizuki, the most famous of the three – a complete hedonist and sex addict). But in part also because Kazuma has received a threatening note warning him of a tragedy that will befall him on the anniversary of his stepmother, Kajiko’s death.
But also, his half-sister Kayoko is in love with him, and he needs the narrator’s wife, Kyoko, to help talk her out of it. A task he made more difficult, no doubt, after the two siblings shared a kiss.
As it happens, though, Kazuma’s not the only one dealing out invitations. Several unwanted guests show up due to someone sending out seemingly forged invitations under Kazuma’s name.
Shenanigans ensue before a single drop of blood is spilled. These people are tied up in affairs – generally of the romantic kind. Lovers, ex-lovers, wannabe lovers, employers, ex-employers… It’s all a lot. Frankly, when the murders start, it’s genuinely a relief – you’re rooting for the cast to be cut down.
And it wouldn’t be so bad if the characters were all introduced gradually. But most of them – along with their relationships and history – are all dumped on you in the first chapter.
You also need to pay attention to all these histories, too. Because the conceit of the book is figuring out why these people are dying – hence, the title – the Non-Serial Murders. What is the history chain tying them all together? Is there one? Are there multiple culprits? Are some committed out of necessity? Is the culprit trying to make their true victim?
To actually have a seat at the table, then, you’d need to know who the characters are. There’s just no way around it.
But where it gets even funnier is that in each chapter even more characters are mentioned, either off-handedly or directly introduced. It got to a point where I was actively laughing at the absurdity. When I mentioned the novel feeling “anti-reader” this is what I meant – I got the feeling the author was actively fucking with me.
Take, for instance, the introduction of the police detectives. They all have handy nicknames which help with keeping track of them – they’re the easiest to keep track of because of it, in fact. Initially, three are present – “Hunch”, “Bloodhound” and “Einstein”. However, shortly after the investigation begins, “Hunch” calls for an additional detective – “Spark Plug”, a woman who seems to have a knack for hitting the truth of the matter through sheer inspiration.
Sounds like that’s a great detective type of character, right?
After she arrives, she basically does nothing.
What’s funny is that, with the exception of maybe two or three notable characters, most of the cast feels like they’re “doing nothing.” They all blend in with each other. They’re all equally horny, equally vulgar and equally unlikeable. It’s an honestly bizarre experience – I always felt like I was floating, in the company of people I genuinely did not know, and was just sitting in the corner, waiting for the one guy that was my ride home to get up and leave so I can tag along.
At numerous points, I flat out stopped and had to think hard about who was talking in the scene – one time finding that the person I was unable to recognize was the amateur detective, Professor Kose.
It feels intentional. It feels like this was the desired effect. The plot still would’ve worked fine if you cut out half the cast, and the fact that wasn’t done feels like a conscious decision. And while it does get easier the further you go along (thanks to people, y’know, dying), that initial impression never quite wears off.
You also barely get to know any of the characters to begin with, so there’s little tension in wondering who the culprit might be. In addition, any discussions of timelines and alibis just become impossible to follow. My eyes basically glazed over those sections, unfortunately.
It’s worth noting that the book does have a clear and satisfying (if, maybe, unsurprising) solution. It’s probably one you’ve already seen in a certain book, but the way it’s been done here works quite well nonetheless.
With one exception. Namely, that the scheme simply shouldn’t have worked to begin with. I mean, after all… (ROT-13)
Jul qvqa’g Xnmhzn fraq nyy gur havaivgrq thrfgf njnl?!
…But, no matter. It’s a minor point in the grand scheme of things, I suppose.
In truth, as negative as this post might come off, I am genuinely glad to have gotten to experience the book. It feels like an important part of history, and the fact it was actually translated into English is nothing short of a small miracle.
More importantly, it also gave me an idea for a short story…
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